Big Changes in July!

I am so behind on blogging I am going to try and catch up this week. July was a great month. We had a lot of fun. 4th of July was fun. Fireworks are legal here so we bought fireworks. I was excited. After setting them off though, I prefer to watch fireworks rather than being the one lighting them. I really didn't enjoy doing that. Rilla and Shirley did not like the loud ones so sat in Daddy's truck and watched them. When I had had enough of lighting fireworks we walked around the neighborhood and watched other people's fireworks. There were a lot of great shows to watch. We had fireworks left so we set them off the following night for our FHE activity. I was very happy to be done. Next year Gil can light them off if he wants too. If he doesn't, then we will watch other peoples fireworks. Walter and Jem took all the pictures since I was lighting of the fireworks, so not too many good pictures to share.




Diana moved out the middle of July. I finally gave her a month to find another place because she continued being rude and disrespectful to me. I am very sad how it all turned out. I told her when she moved in with us that I would treat her like I would my own kids. She did pretty well at doing the few chores I gave her, although had to be reminded sometimes. We developed a pretty good relationship right away. I discovered pretty quickly that if she was in a bad mood about something she was very unpleasant to be around and could be very rude. She began to be rude to the children when she would get frustrated with them, and I knew I had to address the issue. I talked with her and told her that it isn't okay to be rude or speak unkindly to others. That she needed to work on that. I explained to her that she could lose a job, a friendship, etc if she continued acting the way she did. When my kids are rude or disrespectful to me or their siblings, they get a warning, must apologize and then get a time out if they continue or do it again. So Diana got the same, only the time out was from her phone for 20 minutes (that may not sound that bad, but it was for her). She got much better with the children. I had to warn her a few times and take her phone away a few times, but she got much better. She got a boyfriend a couple of weeks after moving in and that started to create some tension between us. She had a curfew and couldn't go on single dates since she was still in school. Another thing she really didn't like me doing was pointing out when she was wrong about something or me showing that what she said or did wasn't fair or correct. I wasn't going to sit by and let her deceive herself when I can help her see the truth and teach her that she needs to look at things from a different perspective (example-her complaining that she was failing history because she had a terrible teacher- then I asked her how come he was was a terrible teacher: no specific reason. Are you taking notes? No. Are you reading the chapters? No. Are you studying for the tests? not really. So I explain to her that even if he wasn't a very good teacher, you cannot just blame him. There were so many things that she could have done to pass the class). Basically, I was trying to teach her to be responsible. I can't stand when people blame everyone else for their problems. She seemed to resent it more and more when I would try and teach her lessons I guess you could call it on being responsible. Like having to wake up at 7am on weekdays during the summer instead of wasting the day away sleeping in. (She had plenty of free time during the day and got to sleep in on weekends). We finally had a big argument when she was really rude to me after a doctor's appointment that I had taken her to. She had had to wait a really long time in the waiting room so was in a very bad mood. I got really mad when she was rude to me and told her that it was not OK to be rude just because she was in a bad mood for having to wait so long. I finally told her that if she wanted to stay with us she would have to work on her attitude and not being rude just because she was in a bad mood. She got mad and felt that I was kicking her out. I told her I wasn't kicking her out, but giving her a choice. I told her I would do the same with my own children when they are her age If they don't want to obey the rules and are rude and disrespectful. She promised to work on it but it didn't get much better. IAfter a little while I gave her an ultimatum. I asked her if her boyfriend would let someone treat her the way she was treating me and she didn't hesitate to say "No". I asked her "then why are your treating me this way?" She didn't really answer and I told her I had talked with Gil and that he wasn't going to let it continue. She said she would stop. It was better for a while, but it seemed like the more time she spent with her boyfriend (by then fiance) the more she didn't like having to check in with me and getting my ok on what she did, etc. I finally had it when she was upset and rude to me all day at the end of June because she blamed me for making her late to family pictures with her boyfriend's family (although I didn't know this was why she was upset at me because she didn't tell me until later that day). When she finally told me why, I was very upset with her because she never told me they were going to have pictures taken. She didn't tell me that she would be going anywhere with her boyfriend. Plus, she wasn't done mowing half the lawn when he got there and they were supposed to leave (which I had no fault in). When I realized that she was going to go somewhere with him, because I asked her, I told her she had to clean her room first. It was a Saturday and that is our Saturday chore. We have had it since she moved in in February and we all do it, the kids included. Then we vacuum the rooms. She knew that if she was going to do something on a Saturday that she had to have it cleaned even if that meant cleaning it on Friday, but she had forgotten. She went off to clean her room while her boyfriend finished mowing (he had asked if he could). So in reality, It was not my fault she was late because she hadn't even finished mowing. She, however, blamed me and treated me as if I had purposely made her be late. I finally got her to admit that I could not have done it on purpose because she hadn't told me of their plans to begin with. So after a long frustrating day Gil called on Skype and I told him what was going on and he talked with her. He agreed with me that all her actions (not just from this day- it had been going on for a while) said that she didn't want to answer to us but wanted to be on her own. Well, the truth of it was she wanted to have total freedom, but she didn't want to be on her own. I told her she couldn't have the freedom and still live here. she could be on her own and do whatever she likes, but she would have to be responsible for all of her life- like financial,etc. We decided to give her a month to move out. She seemed very surprised at this, even though we had given her two chances already. I took away her phone, which she was very upset about, and made her a "guest" in our house. She no longer had to do chores or ok what she did with me, she just had to treat us as guest would. I explained that I took her phone away because I wouldn't pay for a phone for a guest. She moved into an apartment with her boyfriend a couple weeks later (her boyfriend lived with his parents until they moved into the apartment together). I do worry about her. I have talked with her a couple of times. I am sad that she is going to have to learn the hard way about responsibility. We parted on somewhat friendly terms. I hope someday she realizes why it ended the way it did and realizes that we really do care about her and that I was trying to help her be successful in this world.

I didn't mean to take so long talking about Diana leaving. Since she left there were three bedrooms for the kids again and Shirley didn't have to share with me anymore. Walter has always wanted his own room, so he now has his own room and Jem and Shirley now share a room. I let them (all but Shirley) pick out new comforters (I got a new one too) and then we bought some paint to match. I have wanting to paint the bedrooms (all but the yellow one-that one we like-it is Rilla's room) for a long time, especially mine. I hate the green it is. I know hate is a strong word, but I really don't like it. We have half of Walters room painted. Yes, I even let the kids help me with some of it, even though it made more work for me. The new color for Walter's room is "Anvil", a dark bluish gray. Walter picked it out himself and I love it. It looks much better than the light grayish/blue it was before.




Jem picked "Chocolate Truffle" for his and Shirley's room. I loved the comforter he picked out. We were able to paint it all , it did take two days, since it was Diana's old room so there wasn't much in it furniture wise (since her bed went back to Rilla in her room when she left). I like how it turned out. It was just white before and looks much better. Shirley loves his new room. I love having my room to myself again. While sleeping in my room he almost always joined me in my bed. I was afraid it would become a bad habit. He will occasionally come in to my bed in the middle of the night, but mostly sleeps through the night in his bed. I am very happy about that (Now, if I could get Jem to do the same).






Rilla loves her new comforter. The only big change to her room, except for getting her big bed back, was moving the toy shelf into her room.


I love the new comforter for my bed. I built a headboard for my bed. I got the idea from my half sister, Taya's, blog. I really like it.




I have wanted to paint my walls a shade of brown or a dark gray for a long time (saw both colors used on HGtv). My new comforter solved that choice for me and I picked out "Monk's Cloth" for my walls. I only have the one wall done so far. It isn't easy taking care of four kids and painting. Plus, I learned that painting is physically hard. Doing one wall tired my arms and back out, making them sore for a couple of days. I look forward to getting the rooms finished soon. I still need to buy new curtains for my room to match. I am thinking green. I will take a pillowcase with me to decide. I will post more pictures when I am all done.